a law firm you can count on.
Welcome to Vampire Law, the world's preeminent all-vampire-staffed law firm. Whether you're living or undead, our team is bloody talented and excited to assist with your legal needs.
Unfortunately, the legal profession has a reputation for practitioners who act beyond the pale. This ill repute is not surprising because we know lawyers can be a real pain in the neck – that's why our goal is to provide the legal help you need for a price that won't bleed you dry. Vampire Law treats each client with the highest standard of ethics so we can look in the mirror every morning and like what we can't see.
Our lawyers go to bat for you every time because We Won't Sleep Until You Win.*
Invite us to discuss your case with you in a free, no obligation consultation. Or visit our blog for bleeding edge vampire law news and information.
*Results not guaranteed.
Unfortunately, the legal profession has a reputation for practitioners who act beyond the pale. This ill repute is not surprising because we know lawyers can be a real pain in the neck – that's why our goal is to provide the legal help you need for a price that won't bleed you dry. Vampire Law treats each client with the highest standard of ethics so we can look in the mirror every morning and like what we can't see.
Our lawyers go to bat for you every time because We Won't Sleep Until You Win.*
Invite us to discuss your case with you in a free, no obligation consultation. Or visit our blog for bleeding edge vampire law news and information.
*Results not guaranteed.
Meet Our Founder
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Victor Francis Darkly III
Founder
Years of Experience: 245
Areas of Expertise: Personal Injury, Death Penalty Representation, Exotic Pet Law, Romanian Law
Founder
Years of Experience: 245
Areas of Expertise: Personal Injury, Death Penalty Representation, Exotic Pet Law, Romanian Law
Experience• 4,700 years of legal experience
• From civil litigation, to criminal defense, to international law – we bury the competition • Experts on blood transfusion negligence cases • If you're a coffin', please come a-knockin' –we're experienced in asbestos/mesothelioma lawsuits • We personally have no need for wills but can help you draft one |
Awards• Vampire Lawyer Monthly Least Mysteriously Disappeared Clients Award
• ABA (American Blood Association) Law Firm of the Year 1976 • Better Business Bureau of Transylvania "Monstrously Good" Rating |
customer service• Open from dusk til dawn
• Our patient staff will never have a bat temper • We make house calls with your permission • Client dissatisfaction never sees the light of day • We treat each client like a blood relative |
Community• We believe in supporting our communities
• That's why we have daily in-office blood donation drives • Click the banner below to donate blood nearest you to the Red Cross 
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